Life has been pretty great at the moment. It has a few bumps and turns that I’m not happy with, but that’s life. Yesterday my friends Mady, Campbell and Darcy and I went for a drive to take photos (I posted some before). It was really fun and it was good just to not have any other plans during the day so we could take as long as we wanted. I got a bit sunburn, but it will just tan ;D Later on during the day my friends Shae and Oliver picked me up and we went to Millicent and camped in our friend Sammi’s backyard with Kane and Chad for a little bit too. It was so much fun, I had only four drink in a period of 7 hours so I was happy tipsy the whole night. We danced and talked about everything, we gave advice and just relaxed basically. It was so lovely. Shae, Sammi and I at one point during the night were in the tent dancing and singing horribly to really bad songs that everyone knows. Today I’m catching up with a friend who is like my sister and then spending the night with my beautiful family. Quite happy at the moment, even though I am extremely tired D:

I HATE MYSELF SOMETIMES. I AM SUCH A STUPID PERSON.

I got my canvas for art in the mail today, and it is a tad dark, but it’s good. I went and bought some flower petals and etc for a photoshoot that I am doing soon, and went and got stuff and I was having such a good time and was happy.

But then my parents got home, came into my room to look at my canvas, were pretty happy with it. I was telling my mum about everything that I did after school (get stuff for photos etc) and she is like “You spend all that for a photoshoot?” in a really stupid voice. And so I got upset, because I love taking photos, so it’s what I spend my money on.. I don’t buy other things because I am not interested in them. It just got on my nerves so much. I just got really upset. 

I have felt like I was going to crack today, and it just happened over the stupidest of things. I am having trouble at school, not getting the grades that I want. Some of my good friends hardly talk to me anymore, I haven’t been to church in yonks, and I really miss God. And I don’t know.. I mean, there are so many amazing things in my life. I have just been really annoyed and down lately. 

I don’t want my parents to be upset, I feel so bad. I want to go and say sorry, but I can’t.. I don’t know what to say. I am to proud to go and say sorry.

it’s just so stupid. 

Annoyed at myself, I cannot take the photographs that I really want to take, I cannot achieve the look that I want, or the editing look.

I fail.