I’m so stressed..

I HATE MYSELF SOMETIMES. I AM SUCH A STUPID PERSON.

I got my canvas for art in the mail today, and it is a tad dark, but it’s good. I went and bought some flower petals and etc for a photoshoot that I am doing soon, and went and got stuff and I was having such a good time and was happy.

But then my parents got home, came into my room to look at my canvas, were pretty happy with it. I was telling my mum about everything that I did after school (get stuff for photos etc) and she is like “You spend all that for a photoshoot?” in a really stupid voice. And so I got upset, because I love taking photos, so it’s what I spend my money on.. I don’t buy other things because I am not interested in them. It just got on my nerves so much. I just got really upset. 

I have felt like I was going to crack today, and it just happened over the stupidest of things. I am having trouble at school, not getting the grades that I want. Some of my good friends hardly talk to me anymore, I haven’t been to church in yonks, and I really miss God. And I don’t know.. I mean, there are so many amazing things in my life. I have just been really annoyed and down lately. 

I don’t want my parents to be upset, I feel so bad. I want to go and say sorry, but I can’t.. I don’t know what to say. I am to proud to go and say sorry.

it’s just so stupid.